I’ve been putting myself out there lately.
October was exhausting. I applied for about 30 jobs, had half a dozen or so interviews, completed hours and hours of online English tutoring, went to the dentist, and spent weeks in a finger splint (and then another week in kinesiology tape) because I jammed or sprained (no medical consensus) a finger my last week in the UK.
So I guess what I’m saying is that I didn’t intend on taking a month away from writing blog posts. Especially since I was so close to detailing the end of my adventurous summer. But as a good friend of mine loves to remind me “shit always happens.” So now that I can type almost normally again, I’m back at it. Writing, that is.
Back to the theme of this post. Putting oneself out there. (Wherever ‘there’ is.) Many people might say that the entire adventure of booking a flight overseas with a return date set for more than 100 days later and only the first 2 weeks planned is putting myself out there. But for me, that part isn’t a huge deal.
Meeting new people has always been a challenge for me. I’m what many people would call “socially awkward” and not very outgoing. But having a built-in topic (like pet and home care) makes it so much better for me. Small talk events (cocktail parties, networking functions) are where my awkwardness really shines.
Being awkward in public at Verulamium Park in St Albans, England.
I struggle with self-confidence like many people do so while interacting with other people I try to focus on them and on making myself as easy to communicate with as possible. Since I was a child, I’ve found myself focused on really understanding the communications of others and making myself as easily understandable as possible. This can make human interactions tiring, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve really tried to observe the things that people do that make me feel more comfortable communicating with them and really appreciate those moments of kindness.
Some people just exude kindness and welcome. Some people may speak matter-of-factly but their tone is kind. Some people will notice things about the person they’re talking to and compliment them or relate their own similarities.
All these ways of showing kindness can ease communication.
'After Lunch' by Patrick Caulfield at Tate Liverpool. I like that the waiter looks exhausted. Active communication can do that to a person.
I met so many people in three and half months of travel and some of them really stood out because of their kindness. There were the people in the two homes that welcomed me a day before they needed me to start as a sitter. There was the Belgian housemate who drove me from the co-living space in Bidart to the airport in Biarritz and asked for nothing in return. The stranger in Edinburgh who offered to take a photo of me and when I declined still complimented my outfit. The two workers in the shop in Cardiff that gave me a list of local activities that I’d like. The server at the bagel place in Rotterdam who complimented my extremely limited Dutch and my bravery for going on this adventure. And Clair in St. Albans who not only let me hang out with her for a few hours after she returned from her holiday before my train arrived but also gifted me a t-shirt from a Coldplay concert! Not to mention the people who asked for my dietary requirements and left me wines and snacks when I was housesitting for them.
This is my friend, Betty. I hope next time I go on a big adventure to have more photos with humans.
When we are comfortable in a situation we can feel more confident, but we can also forget to be kind and inclusive to newcomers in that situation. I want to be the person who helps others feel comfortable and confident.
I think that people who are comfortable and confident have a much higher likelihood of reaching their goals and contributing meaningfully to their communities.
I’ll keep working on spreading kindness and making communication as successful as I can no matter where I go and maybe that’ll turn my social awkwardness into a positive thing.
Follow along if you like and remember — Even tiny adventures matter.